God dammit.

For months now, I have been resisting lace. I look at other people's shawls, and I admire them, and I secretly wish I could own one, but I know perfectly well that I do not live a life that requires a lot of shawls, so why would I invest so much time into an impractical item like that? Besides, I like to knit while multitasking, so anything that requires that many charts just isn't going to work for me.

But then, Pomatomus sucked me in. And I told myself that it wasn't lace, it was socks! I have a long and loving history with socks, so that's ok. Yeah, there was a chart, which I swore I'd never be able to understand, but look at Pomatomus! They're worth learning charts for. And besides, Branching Out was a total bust, so clearly I'm just not meant for lace.

But then I finished Pomatomus, and the chart was suddenly making total sense. And then I picked up Branching Out again, and it worked! Well! It looked good! It took a little tinking and a little thinking, but I did it.

And then Beth gave me that gorgeous silk for Christmas and I got it into my head that it needed something really epic. 100% silk! How often am I going to have that? Not often. And the colours were so nice, so I started sort of casually looking at some lace patterns. But the scarves just didn't really suit what I had in my mind. So I started looking at shawls. At first, it was just the straightforward ones, without too much lace. But somehow, in my mind, this yarn was something light and delicate and gorgeous and not at ALL me.

And then I found this shawl. Yeah. And it is all mountainy, and light and airy, and...gah. I thought about Icarus, or Swallowtail, but I kept coming back to this one.

So I bought it. And I printed it, and I read it over, and it made sense in my little brain. And I looked at the charts (all five of them. Five!) and I didn't run screaming, so I cast it on. And I started knitting.

And now I've finished the first chart and am 22 rows in, and I love it. Even though I have to look at the pattern constantly, and have to count stitches and move stitch markers and focus like the dickens, I love it.

God dammit. Those tricky lace bastards got me.

My yarn for Rogue has shipped, but until it arrives, I'm going to finish up my project for later this week and work on my beautiful, beautiful shawl. Where will I wear it? I don't know. I don't care. I just want it to be mine. I plan to write about the experience, since I think I'm not the only one intimidated by these huge lace things, and I'm hoping to prove that it isn't that bad. (Knock on wood.)

So. I'll be here in my chair, knitting my insane shawl. I think all the Christmas knitting has addled my brain. Do I really think I can do this?

Yeah. I do.